Weight distribution

Easter weekend. Whether you celebrate or not, this is another long weekend dedicated to family.

Putting a spotlight on who is missing, what has changed, what you wish was different or better. Maybe you are missing loved ones, or having serious health challenges,—perhaps you are longing for the past when your kids were little, —maybe your financances are precarious…it might be that your dog is sick. There could be a combination of many things that you can not name. Whatever it is, there is a weight to these few days which can seem heavier than normal.

We carry the weight of grief differently all the time. Somedays or moments in a day we are crushed by loss and its all encompassing load, other days or moments in a day it is integrated and absorbed within us. Perhaps that is your norm now, having it integrated most all of the time—except on certain days and anniversaries.

It is helpfuls to be aware of the different sizes, shapes and load of grief for you. How and when does it show up most often for you?. There are the obvious times (anniversaries/big dates) and the moments that catch you by surprise(hearing a song, smelling a memory). Where does it show up in your body and how? Aches and pains, fatigue? Irritability and impatience? Anger and sadness? A feeling of needing to be super busy and occupied so you can just distract from anything uncomfortable?

Being aware of grief inside you, naming it for what it is, helps.

The acknowledgement and the validation of your feelings can often lighten them a little. To understand the reason you feel like you do can make sense of the general meloncholy and pervasive sad.

What do you need to honour your sad? Intentional rest? A walk? A talk with a trusted and safe person? Perhaps some time just to be quiet and honour the ones you miss. Honour yourself and the loss you are experiencing right now.

Take care of yourself, maybe have some chocolate.

on we go,

Hilary

healingtheloss.com

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